This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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