Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
