He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my being single is dangerous.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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