Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
