The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
