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I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
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