At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.