Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
