please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"