how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
