i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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