he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
