Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
