I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize