He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
