Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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