I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
