she looked like the before picture.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
