whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
