May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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