Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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