I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
