Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
