Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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