i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize