She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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