So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
