the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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