Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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