careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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