I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
