I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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