did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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