so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
