I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
