Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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