3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
