his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And then my night got REAL pukey
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
