Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
