And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
