before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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