Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
