how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
