Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
