I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
