This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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