So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
