Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
