I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
