alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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