there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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