I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
