Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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