Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
