I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize