So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
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I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
soo... how was my night?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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