Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
