How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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