You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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